those days...

psalm 27:13-14 "i am still confident of this: i will see the goodness of the lord in the land of the living. wait for the lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the lord."

this verse is one of my favorites because it is a good reminder that even when life is not going my way and things seem to be falling apart all around me, i am not alone. god has not forsaken me. he still has a plan. often times, what exactly this plan entails is a mystery to me, but the god who made it is faithful. he loves me more than i love myself, and he knows me better than i know myself. sometimes these truths are so hard to grasp as my feelings do not match, but this is where faith comes into play.

i know that god is good, and he is faithful, whether i "feel" that is the case or not. i have to base my life on something more firm than my feelings. can anybody say amen to that? ha. feelings come and go. they change from circumstance to circumstance. through it all, god remains the same. that has to be one of my all-time favorite characteristics of the lord: his unchanging nature. he doesn't change, his availability doesn't change, and his love for me doesn't change. how can it get any better than that?

the holidays.

oh, the holidays...so many mixed emotions surrounding this "joyous" time of year.

often times it seems that rather than bringing joy and peace, i end up stressed, anxious, and generally not so happy. :-( why does that happen? essentially, it seems that this is caused by me taking my eyes off of jesus and putting them onto myself and my immediate circumstances. i am definitely one to want an immediate resolution to any minor challenge in my personal life, and i generally try to figure out these solutions on my own.

unfortunately, this is not the way life works. god is faithful and has a plan, but his plan may not match mine. and often times his timeline is not mine either. i am reminded of isaiah 55:8-9: "'for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the lord. 'as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

apparently god has his own way of doing things. that does not mean i just sit on the sidelines, take a back seat, and wait for him to miraculously intervene. but perhaps it does mean trying to avoid going in circles trying to figure things out and instead to do what i can to do as 1 peter 5:7 suggests: "cast your cares on the lord because he cares for you."

so simple, so true, yet so challenging.

realistic expectations.

don't expect life to get easier.
do expect god to be faithful.

don't expect this world to satisfy.
do expect god to be more than enough.

don't expect to know all the answers or to understand completely.
do expect that god has a plan, and his plan is good.

so often i am looking for answers or solutions. i want a "happily ever after" on my timeline, but that is not the real world, and, often times, that is not how god works. he has a plan, and his plan is good, but much of the time, it requires patience and perseverance. that is where jesus comes into the picture.

psalm 84:11-12 "for the lord god is sun and shield; the lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. o lord almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you."

god is good.

"the lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. the lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. he fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."-psalm 145:17-19

i have been thinking a lot lately about who god is and what he is capable of, and it has been blowing my mind. as god of the universe, there is nothing that is impossible for him. he is able to save, redeem, restore, make new, comfort, open doors, heal, forgive, lead, direct. our god is pretty amazing. yet in the midst of his seemingly busy schedule, he somehow manages to prioritize spending time with me. how rad is that? the god of the universe wants to spend time with us. he cares about the details of our lives.

it is hard for me to grasp that god knows and cares about everything going on in my life, but he does. he really does. he knows my thoughts and feelings, he sees me when i cry, when i have a hard day, when i'm confused, and he wants to be right by my side at all times. he doesn't just stand off in the distance waiting for me to come to him. he gets up and comes alongside me. why? because he loves me. his love never changes. even though i mess up repeatedly and am far from perfect, he loves me just the same. his love is unconditional and based on who he is rather than on me and what i have done. that is so refreshing.

psalm 34 has been rocking my world the past couple of days. one of my favorite verses is psalm 34:18 "the lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." i love that god doesn't just tell me to "get over it" when i am having a difficult day. instead, he comes alongside me, asks what's wrong, and is willing and able to help...if i will let him. god is so good. why is it so hard for me to recognize that at times? it seems so often that instead of letting him do his thing, i sit there, fighting him, pushing him away, and insisting i can do it by myself.

oh lord, please break me down to a place of humility where i am willing to accept your love for me. thank you that your love never changes, and that you are by my side at all times, whether i can "feel" you or not. you are good.

psalm 61:1-2 "hear my cry, o god; listen to my prayer. from the ends of the earth i call to you, i call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than i."

life. love. jesus.

"'for i know the plans i have for you,' declares the lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and i will listen to you. you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" -jeremiah 29:11-13

sometimes it feels like life is super complicated, and there aren't always easy answers. there is no "how to" guide that provides step by step solutions for every situation under the sun. many times it comes down to simply walking with the lord and allowing him to guide your steps. so much easier said that done...

walking with god does not guarantee an easier life. in many instances, it almost guarantees the opposite. however, there is one thing that allowing god to lead does guarantee: we will never be left to accomplish anything on our own; he promises to be with us every step of the way. gotta love his promise to stick by our side no matter what. i know i do.

open arms

"you don't need to run away to have a fresh start, you simply need to ask." --god

last night i was reminded of how good god is, and that, unlike everyone else, he doesn't close his arms or turn his back when we run in the opposite direction. he doesn't become sullen or angry, and his view of us never changes. he simply stands there with open arms, ready and willing to accept us back, no questions asked, whenever we decide we're ready. and he never grows tired of waiting...

when we do make that decision to come back, we don't owe him anything or have to make up for our mistakes. he doesn't ask us to jump through hoops to prove that we are "worthy" of his love. his love is perfect and unconditional and is in no way based on our performance. his forgiveness is complete.

think of it like this, his word says our best deeds are as "filthy rags." (isaiah 64:6) at first glance, this may seem discouraging, but it's actually very freeing if you think a little more deeply. knowing that we are unable to work for our salvation sets us free to rest in the knowledge that all the work necessary was already accomplished on the cross over 2,000 years ago. we are free from trying to earn anything with jesus. all he wants to give us comes freely. i am so, so glad that my salvation is in no way dependent upon me. i am prone to mess things up, but god is perfect. my role is simply to ask and receive, and even with that, god is willing and able to help. gotta love our god. slow to anger, abounding in love.

it's been awhile...

i realize that it has been quite awhile since i've posted on my blog so i figured i would just do it. :-) i think one of the main reasons behind the lack of posts in the past several months is a feeling of having a lack of "answers."

as anyone who knows me very well at all is aware, i am someone who loves to know and understand things. i like to grasp the big picture as well as the minute details, beginning to end, back to front, everything. i guess you could say that i like to know things. i kinda like my "black and white," "right and wrong," "yes and no" little world. unfortunately, this is not the reality of life. at all really. life is much more complicated than that, and this is where jesus comes into the picture. check out this verse. it's one of my current favorites.

isaiah 55:8-9 "'for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the lord. 'as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

i think one of the biggest life lessons god has been trying to teach me over this past year is that i am not in control. really? was i the last one to get that memo? yeah, you would think i would grasp this concept by now, but for some reason, it has been a challenging lesson to learn. god. he's the one who's in control. he's the one with the plans, the answers, the map. i'm the sheep, he's the shepherd. he leads, and i follow. at least that's how it's supposed to work.

god is faithful, and i need to learn to rely on his faithfulness more than on my own ingenuity, ability, and reasoning. i'll fail all day long, but he never will. i love having a god who's reliable. :-)

lord, please guide me and keep me. teach me to rely on you rather than myself. please make proverbs 3:5-6 true in my life. i need you desperately.

proverbs 3:5-6 "trust in the lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

john 10:27 "my sheep listen to my voice; i know them, and they follow me."