it's been awhile...

i realize that it has been quite awhile since i've posted on my blog so i figured i would just do it. :-) i think one of the main reasons behind the lack of posts in the past several months is a feeling of having a lack of "answers."

as anyone who knows me very well at all is aware, i am someone who loves to know and understand things. i like to grasp the big picture as well as the minute details, beginning to end, back to front, everything. i guess you could say that i like to know things. i kinda like my "black and white," "right and wrong," "yes and no" little world. unfortunately, this is not the reality of life. at all really. life is much more complicated than that, and this is where jesus comes into the picture. check out this verse. it's one of my current favorites.

isaiah 55:8-9 "'for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the lord. 'as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

i think one of the biggest life lessons god has been trying to teach me over this past year is that i am not in control. really? was i the last one to get that memo? yeah, you would think i would grasp this concept by now, but for some reason, it has been a challenging lesson to learn. god. he's the one who's in control. he's the one with the plans, the answers, the map. i'm the sheep, he's the shepherd. he leads, and i follow. at least that's how it's supposed to work.

god is faithful, and i need to learn to rely on his faithfulness more than on my own ingenuity, ability, and reasoning. i'll fail all day long, but he never will. i love having a god who's reliable. :-)

lord, please guide me and keep me. teach me to rely on you rather than myself. please make proverbs 3:5-6 true in my life. i need you desperately.

proverbs 3:5-6 "trust in the lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

john 10:27 "my sheep listen to my voice; i know them, and they follow me."