more thoughts...

apparently i have needed an outlet for awhile as can be seen by the lengthiness of my posts thus far. thoughts of today have been scattered and kinda random. i think a lot of my thinking lately is prompted by the fact that i am in the middle of perhaps the biggest transition of my life thus far--graduating from college and moving on to whatever's next. sometimes it's kinda scary. i know that everything will work out, but i have no clue what that means or what it will look like. the one thing my life cannot be is status quo. i've been thinking about the whole status quo thing lately and how much i do NOT want my life to be like that. jesus was for sure not about maintaining the status quo. he was pretty radical in fact. sometimes i feel way too complacent. another thing i've been pondering lately is sacrifice. if my life is not going to be status quo (all about living out the american dream or even just working for the sake of earning money so i can live the way i want), it's gonna require a sacrifice. how can i train myself to be willing to make those sacrifices? i guess by intentionally making some sacrifices in my daily life, right? what does that look like? sometimes i wish god gave us a more specific manual for living, but then life wouldn't be about a relationship with jesus but about following some formula. i know he just wants my heart, and i want him to have it. do what it takes, god!! i've been trying to figure out how i can grasp these truths without the classic having to go through the process of exhausting my own resources before finally grasping the truth that i can't do it on my own, but if that's what it takes...if god has to strip stuff away, i want him to do it. it may not be pleasant at the time (obviously), but in the long run, it will get me to the place where i want and need to be. god is good all the time. all the time god is good!