posting again?

so i know this is the second post of the day, but i feel like there's been a lot going on in my life lately--especially with regard to my heart and my mind. first, check out this verse. it goes along with the theme of my earlier post about being broken before the lord and surrendered to him completely. john 12:24-25 "i tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. but its death will produce many new kernels--a plentiful harvest of new lives. those who love their life in this world will lose it. those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity." that kind of attitude has to be the lord; i can't get there on my own. help me, god! other than that, i've been thinking about so many other random things lately: life goals, ministry stuff, career, relationships, family, friends, marriage, purpose, the list could continue...mostly, i just want jesus to be at the center giving marching orders for me to follow. life with him in control is the only way to go. that is life and life abundantly.

*warning* this next section is all about my thoughts on marriage. :-)

another topic i've been thinking about a little bit lately is marriage. i know, i know, such a typical girl topic to think about. don't worry, i don't have my wedding all planned out or anything like that, but i have been thinking about the whole concept of marriage lately. last semester, i took a class on marriage, and i feel like i learned a lot. the emphasis of the class seemed to be on the difficulty of marriage with a couple of examples of the joy of marriage at the very end of the class. if the purpose was to prevent hasty, thoughtless marriages, i think it should have succeeded. however, i don't think i would be one to jump into marriage anyway. not like i have that option right now, but that's beside the point...basically, marriage kinda scares me because it's such a big commitment. i am definitely someone who's all about commitment, but that sort of life-long commitment is kinda a big deal, ya know? anyways, i've also been thinking about the high standard i hold for the person i'd want to marry: they gotta love jesus a lot, serve him and others in their daily lives, be open and honest about their lives/thoughts/feelings, a good listener, thoughtful, respectful, responsible, and considerate. i guess that pretty much covers my "list." oh, and they have to love me for who i am--that's huge. :-) i think that's everything. why am i thinking about marriage anyway? i'm not dating anyone, in fact i never have. i guess it's just because random people will ask me questions about dating, marriage, etc., and i'm not gonna just bring it up in random conversations so i figured i'd make a post. obviously, i didn't meet someone in college. so now what? i'll just wait on the lord. i don't think i'm in any hurry to jump into a relationship, but i'd rather not be 30 and still single really...we'll see what happens. random, i know. never know what you're gonna get when you read my posts. :-)