my god is so good!!

i love serving a god who delights in going above and beyond. what could be better? so this past week was high school camp. as a leader i was going into it with the expectation that i had nothing to offer in and of myself but had all i needed in jesus. i did not want to go through the process of trying to do it on my own, failing, then turning to god. i was hoping to bypass that whole cycle by just starting off by admitting that i have nothing to give in and of myself. i felt like it was a good place to be. however, god certainly taught me a lot about how desperate i really am for him. it was actually pretty intense, but i'm grateful for the lesson. so there were like 64 kids at camp, and like half of them were new kids or kids who don't usually come to youth group. praise the lord for how many kids he brought!! also, this camp was super intense for me. i was like, "lord, i have absolutely nothing to give. i can't change kids' hearts. they need you." variations of that prayer were my life this past week. jesus brought me to the ultimate breaking point on friday when all i could do for a good hour or so was sit on this bench under a tree crying to the lord, literally crying--as in snot all over my towel. it was good times with jesus but super hard. i was so broken about the fact that kids were exposed to the truth of god's love and faithfulness and could ascribe to the belief but couldn't really receive it. i so badly wanted them to know god's love. i saw how broken they were, how in need of love. i saw the solution, jesus, but couldn't do anything else to make them "get it." in and of myself, i'm totally selfish and cry about things related to me, but this time the lord broke my heart for these kids. it was good but hard. good because for once, i wasn't crying over myself and my own little life. hard because there was absolutely nothing i could do to change these kids' hearts; that had to be the lord. luckily, the lord is so faithful to do so. my favorite verse in times like these is the one in philippians about god being faithful to complete the works he begins. that has to be one of my favorite promises of the lord. anyways, all this to say, god did some amazing stuff this week--he changed lives, brought repentence, and opened eyes. my god truly is amazing, and i am so, so, so desperate for him. he alone can satisfy the need of every living thing. i serve a big god. absolutely nothing is impossible for him. he can change the hardest hard, and he delights in doing so. check out ezekiel 36:25-27. hope in the lord does not disappoint! help me keep my hope in you, jesus!