new things...

i feel like a lot of things in life right now are very new, like i'm entering a new season of life. along with all these new things, there are a variety of thoughts and feelings flooding my mind and heart. overall, this time is good, interesting, and exciting, but there is some amount of quesitoning and trying to figure things out. let's just say that i don't know everything about everything, and i feel like some things are going to have to be trial and error (well, with prayer involved). i'm trying to face my fears instead of running from them, but that is scary. and i'm trying to let go of my own will and grab hold of the lord's. the hard thing with that is knowing what's me and what's him; i feel like the line's not always so clear. i need to keep my mind fixed on jesus and my eyes on him. help me in that, lord. so i want jesus to run my life, not me. i have been reminded of that in a million different ways lately. when i do things my way, i mess things up, get hurt, or hurt others. jesus, please show me areas of my life that need to be surrendered to you. i want you to have full control and complete reign. i don't wanna do it my way. the way that seems right to me ends in death...i need you...