no words...

sometimes there just aren't words...that's my current situation. no words. just tears, silence, and scattered thoughts. i'm so glad jesus can interpret all this. last night i spent some time talking to him about things. "why is it like this? how long is this phase of life going to last? what's the purpose?" in the midst of my questions, i heard jesus saying, "i'm here. i'm right here." that's pretty much all i heard him say; other than that, it was silence. he is enough though, right? the most interesting thing is that overall i am pretty satisfied with my life as far as surfacey things go. it's not like i'm some emotional wreck due to circumstances...not that i would describe myself as an emotional wreck anyway, but you get my drift. why the difficulty, confusion, lack of clarity? why all the blankness of emotion and scattered thoughts? i don't quite understand, but i think that's the point. i don't need to understand, and i won't always. god is god, and i am not. his ways are higher than mine. i think it's all part of the lesson. it's evident that god's hands have been on my life all along. he's here. he's my refuge. i just gotta hold on tight. help me, lord.