when words aren't enough...

i am definitely in one of those times where i am super frustrated with me...specifically the sinful nature me. i hate how it is so hard for me to just do what the lord has for me to do. i hate those conflicted emotions--me vs. god, my will vs. his. i know deep down that his is always better, why can't i just accept that as a universal truth at all times? why do i have to see to believe? lord, please give me more faith! lately, getting in the word has been difficult. it's not that i don't love the word of god, i do. i'm actually not sure what my deal is lately or why it's so hard to really get in there. perseverance is key. i love how god never gives up on me. he's so good. other than that, it's been an interesting time of emotions. not like i've been all over the place emotionally, it's more like i am so glad that the lord knows me better than i know myself. i just don't feel able to adequately describe my life lately. words just aren't cutting it. maybe if you look into my eyes and watch my mannerisms, you'd get a clearer glimpse. maybe not. either way, my life's not really about me anyway. it's not all about how i feel or what i want. my life is about serving the king of kings and being in an intimate love relationship with him. so let's get my eyes off of me and back onto him. i'm done with the over-analyzing. i'll just wait till god tells me what's up. he will when and if it's time. for now, i'll wait upon the lord. he will renew my strength. that's a breath of fresh air. my jesus is still the best.